jurassic park

so last night i had mr. massive jurassic park on my pajama pants. oh man.
Fran: don't move. you have something on your pants.
Hill:what? what is it?
F:it's like a bug. dont move i'll get it.
(Hillary, thinking an earwig, a spider, something small enough to brush off, turns her head and examines her backside...she finds instead a gigantor mammoth millipede with large talons daring her to even move)
H: OH MY GOSH! it's huge! eeeehhhhh! uhhhhh! franchesca! it's huge! get it off! get if off! get if offffff!
F: take off your pants!
H: no. i can't! it'll move!
F: well it's too big to crush. i'm not touching it! take off your pants!
H: ok. (breath) ok.
(hillary whips off her pants. mammoth talon bug starts crawling using his fast legs, of which he has one million.)
F: what are we going to do with it?!?!?!
H: we'll take it outside! ahhh it's crawling! it's moving fast!
F: throw it out the window!
H: open the window! open it! hurry!
(franchesca struggles with the lock on the shutters)
F: stupid windows in italy!
(finally they open wide and Hillary throws her pajama pants out the window)
sighs.
F: oh man. that was crazy. goodnight.
(hillary stands fidgety, and the last thing she wants to do is get back in the bed where the radioactive tarantula came from.)
H: what if it laid eggs? what if it has a family? what if they just live in all my clothes?
(hillary lays rigid in her underwear on her bed)