ArtHistoryNerdLove

Today I defended my master's thesis. I feel like my entire graduate experience has pushed me so far out of my comfort zone. I feel like I've been really stretched and often. It has forced me to do many things I thought were impossible physically, temporally and mentally. Even when I feel like I am not the best at what I do, at least I know I've done something hard and many things I can be proud of.

I woke up early after 4 hours of sleep, practiced my presentation and went into the conference room feeling cold and sweaty. Todd, the angel who stays up late at night finishing my papers when I don't have the mental capacity, woke up after little sleep to come support me. I saw my friends coming down the hall to watch me present as well. I was so relieved to see them, because instead of being more people to present in front of, they are my cheerleaders who tell me what I did right and how great I am when I feel like everything I do is total crap.

After they were forced out, I sat alone with three professors whom I admire, while they told me about the good and interesting points of my thesis, but mainly parts that could and should be explored to improve it. After sweating and nerves, but mostly a delightful experience (minus all of the physically draining adrenaline), I was asked to leave while they deliberated. I went to see my friends who all cheered and clapped and hugged me. It makes me want to cry (because I cry all of the time), but I am so grateful for them and their support. They're the group that has gone with me through everything in the past two years. Everything hard, we've done it together and been able to help each other through with words of encouragement. I know I wouldn't have survived this program without them and Todd. I am pretty sure I would have dropped out of any other program had I not had wonderful friends who support me like this. And they're a lot of fun.

I love you guys.